S (grammars) wrote in crcommunity,

intro, questions.

i just found this community by accident, but it actually seems perfect for what i'm looking for and for where i am right now. i'm a 21 year old married college student. i've had an eating disorder since i was about twelve or thirteen (anorexia/ed-nos). i'm trying to recover (in therapy) but i've run into a huge problem: portions. for example, i'll start out by saying, "ok i am going to eat normally and be healthy, no more starving." so i eat everything in sight. (all food is better than no food, right? ha!) and i eat huge servings for every meal. (except i almost never eat breakfast.. it's horrible, i know.) i'll have a huge black bean burger for lunch and then instead of going easy at dinner, i'll have something equally.. big. then i'll go for five days without eating practically anything (100 cal/day max) to "make up for it." clearly this is just making me sick and it's a bad cycle to be in. part of the problem is that i just cannot eat as much food as a normal person seems to be able to eat and still manage to feel ok.. physically, emotionally, etc. anyway, i read about CR in.. i believe it was elle a few months ago and was intrigued. then i was just searching through random livejournal interests ("recovery," "wellness," etc) this morning and came across this community. i've never been a big eater, even before my ed started. my mom isn't either, we both like small serving sizes and not too too many calories. so i tell you all this because i need help. although i am at a relatively healthy weight, i'm actually going to have to add calories to my diet instead of restricting them further. i'd like to be able to eat about 1000 calories a day. i need foods that are going to make me feel full though, i'm not supposed to let myself get hunger pains (it's a trigger). i don't eat red meat and i like almost any sort of food. a huge part of my problem is i also love sugar & bread. i absolutely must start getting proper nutrition though. the benefits of CR (done properly) also attract me, especially the decreased risk of diabetes part (you know, what with the sugar & bread fixation.. ugh). so yes, my reasons for wanting to do this are not weight loss but proper nutrition without feeling so.. heavy and full all the time. i guess i'm just asking if anyone else is in my position. and if anyone has any suggestions as to changes in eating habits (other than the obvious). ooh, & also, exercise. i like to run on average two miles a day. it makes me feel good and healthy and strong and it clears my mind. but if i'm only eating 1000 cal/day and running 2 miles a day, is that enough? i'm not asking if i can do it -- unfortunately i know i can run much more than that on a lot less calories -- but it that's ok. and, if not, what would you all suggest?

thank you for any advice you can give me! it's greatly appreciated! and i hope this community stays active, it seems really wonderful from what i've look at thus far.
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